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Posted by: Andrea on Sep 15th, 2009 | Filed under: Charlotte Mason, Family Life, Single Parents, Workboxes
People frequently ask me how it is I get everything done. I am sometimes taken aback by this question because I have such a long to-do list every day that rarely gets finished. Time management is a skill that takes time, practice and refinement to really find what works for you, but it is also the case that I look at the term “single parent homeschooling” as a holistic lifestyle and “job” – I am single, meaning I need to figure out how to do things by myself such as earn a living and run a household; I am a parent, which is a whole other set of responsibilities with child rearing; and i am a homeschooling mother, which means I am primarily responsible for my child’s education.
How to mesh these three components into a cohesive whole has been an ongoing quest for me, so I’ll share a few perspectives that have helped me, in the hopes that it helps and encourages someone else.
1. I Am Single.
I must do or oversee everything in my house or it does not get done. This includes homemaking and breadwinning, and if I am not careful, I can burn myself out to the point of illness. This isn’t just a cautionary tale – it is a fact and has happened to me more than once.
I have been working from home since my son was an infant. I would like to say that this is less challenging now that Shorty can entertain himself for longer periods by himself and has studies occupying a lot of his time, but it’s not any easier, it’s just different. As an infant he needed constant attention in basic needs; as a preteen, and an only child, he wants to chatter with me all day long about everything, and wants to share every new discovery that pops into his head with me. This is wonderful and I do not want to discourage this, and do not want him to get too lonely, but it doesn’t leave for any more free time for me than before.
What has helped me with being the sole breadwinner and the sole manager of the home has been to learn to delegate and to help my son to be as independent and self-possessed as possible for him. He cleans his room fairly well; he makes his bed; he dusts his own space; he chooses and gathers his own clothes each week (I made this craft to help him organize his clothes each week – they did not come out as pretty but he loves them anyway) and so on. He can even make a few simple meals, such as a chef salad, PBJ and frozen pizza. He also helps with the laundry (we do not have one in our building and have to go to the laundromat) and helps with that, as well. I still do all the heavy lifting, organizing and cleaning, but it helps that he does a lot on his own, too.
This isn’t just for my convenience. These are valuable life skills. Plenty of practice is helpful, and these are habit training methods that will benefit him in the long term and help relieve the burden of me having to do EVERYTHING for him.
Parents, if you are single and you homeschool, you CANNOT do everything yourself. There are only so many hours in the day and there is only so much of you to go around. You must learn to delegate household duties somehow. You DO NOT need to be SuperWoman/Man; neither do you need to radically overhaul your household overnight to achieve this. Baby steps are better than nothing!
Here are some links you may find useful in helping to develop good habits in your kids.
Keeping your kids accountable is one thing, but you also need to keep YOURSELF accountable and find a way to not overfocus and to learn to manage your own time. Here are some links that may help you to that end, as well!
If you are able to seek outside help, such as an older homeschooled student, fellow mom or church friend, who is both responsible enough and willing to help with household responsibilities or anything else you may need, please do seek it. Some people feel like getting outside help is a failure on their part somehow, but the real failure is not being able to recognize where you cannot meet a need in your home all by yourself and failing to seek a way to meet it some other way.
I am single, but I am not the only person on this planet, and cannot and should not do everything alone.
2. I Am a Parent.
Running my own business and keeping up with all my duties, I have occasionally not made as much time to be an active parent as I should be, content that my son’s life was productively filled with playdates, schoolwork, activities and time spent with relatives. But children above all want time with their mom and/or dad, and this is especially true of children of single parents. Single parents work very hard, so hard that sometimes all they do is work.
This is a mistake. All children need to be actively engaged by interested adults in their lives. They need to know that they are not alone in their world while being given safe spaces to learn decision-making. As a child, I was materially indulged very much by well-meaning family that raised me but was not interested in my interests or passions; I now see where it left me feeling like I didn’t have anyone to turn to in times of crisis, even though I did in fact have those people. I had not been taught to look to anyone’s counsel but my own. Children need active parents in their lives making safe spaces for them to make mistakes, not careen out of control at will.
Parents, no matter how tired you are, no matter how stressed you are with other matters, find a consistent way of structuring your home so that your child knows his home environment is safe and relatively predictable. Make family traditions for every ridiculous holiday you can think of (we love our yearly viewing of 1776 the musical on July 4, for example). Talk often. Have a family game night, if only once a month. Take an interest in their video games or whatever else catches their fancy. Go on nature walks. Tell them about your own childhood as you see fit. Talk about how your values compare to what you see in a movie you’re watching. toss a ball for 5 minutes in your backyard or at the park (even if you stink at it, like I do).
I say these things not because I’m awesome at integrating these ideas and am looking down on others who don’t – but because I personally often forget that children want your time more than anything else you could provide for them. Single parents are sometimes so overwhelmed by meeting their immediate and more mundane responsibilities that active participation with your kids takes a back burner. It shouldn’t. It can’t.
I suggest setting aside at least one day a week where you spend time having utterly frivolous fun as a family. For us that day is usually Sunday. We go to church and Bible study, then we go out to the beach, or rent a movie and have a movie night, or invite the grandparents over to play board games, or what have you. My son is never happier than when I sit down to play a video game with him, even if I’m absolutely terrible at them.
3. I Am a Homeschooler.
The principles that apply above also apply to homeschooling as a single parent.
You must learn to delegate if necessary, either through a co-op or a virtual school or a tutor, or whatever works for your child. Look for materials that don’t take a ton of planning on your part. Try to give your child things to do that he can explore as independently as possible. This builds confidence and gives you a little breathing room.
If your kids like hearing stories, let me introduce you to a wonderful web site called Librivox.org, where audiobooks of thousands of great books are available for free download. We rip them on CD, listen to them in the car and upload them to our iPods. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO IT ALL YOURSELF, remember?
I also highly recommend the workbox system as a homeschool organizational tool. Its primary use is to foster child independence and self-motivation.
Finally, do not be afraid to blend some of the above strategies. Nature walks can help you foster closeness with your children AND be educational; life skill training is educational AND helps you manage your time as a single parent better; teaching your child to be responsible for his belongings and space, and incorporating him into the success of a well-run household, fulfills parenting duties AND helps you delegate your responsibilities as a single head of household.
As a single parent homeschooler, I have a lifestyle that has three equally valuable and important components. Finding the balance between the three, and finding ways to integrate them in a fulfilling and meaningful way, is an ongoing challenge – but it is doable, and oh, is it ever worthwhile.
Posted by: Andrea on Sep 9th, 2009 | Filed under: Freebies, Language Arts, Thoughtful Christianity
For Shorty’s copywork practice this year, I’m in the process of creating copywork books of three different Psalms, one for each term, for 36 weeks’ worth of work total. Here is the first one for this year: a printable 15-page PDF document of Psalm 16, split up into 12 verses (one verse is split into two), plus a copy of the complete psalm, a page on tips for using the eBook, and a customizable cover page.
UPDATE: I have added a manuscript version as well as a cursive version.
Psalm 16 Copywork book - CURSIVE (342)
Psalm 16 Copywork book - MANUSCRIPT (164)
This uses the New King James version. The other 2 psalm copybooks are coming soon; I will be bundling it in a package and possibly asking a small fee, probably about $2, for downloading the complete year’s package if only to cover server costs, but for now the first term’s coursework for free. Feedback is always welcome, and as always, downloading this document constitutes agreement to my terms of use.
Posted by: Andrea on Sep 4th, 2009 | Filed under: Andrea's Reviews, Charlotte Mason, General Homeschooling
I’m very sorry that I haven’t chosen the winners of my giveaway yet. I’ve had a very rough summer, largely due to a) getting laid off in July (I’ve since found several other new jobs, but that was a good one, and it took me a while to find more work); b) puberty has kind of set in with Shorty and c) the biggie – I’ve been beset by extremely bad dental problems that, thankfully, my church is helping me to pay for this week, but that have been plaguing me and making me unable to sleep/eat very well for several months. I promise to try to get to the giveaway this weekend.
Anyway, that’s not what this post is about. This post is a general overview for what my son is doing for sixth grade. Which he starts on Monday! I can hardly believe it This year, I took the plunge and have decided to use Ambleside Online as a curriculum completely, as-written, with a few minor exceptions as noted below. Though he is sixth grade age, I placed my son into Year 2 for various reasons.
1. Ambleside years do not coincide with grades. It is a very, very advanced curriculum and it’s not unusual to see children start Year 1 in the 3rd or 4th grade. Completing Year 7 and Year 8 is the equivalent of a regular high school education; Years 9 and 10 are the equivalent of honors; Year 11 and the tentative Year 12 are AP/college level. So I am okay with Shorty being in Y2.
2 .Shorty struggles with narration, inference and comprehension and doesn’t read for pleasure of his own free will unless it’s magazines and science/video game code books. I think he COULD do Y4 (the recommended level for older children starting AO) but it would be extremely challenging for him, and I wanted to put him at the level where he would be challenged, but still be successful.
3. He chose that era of history to study – knights and castles and vikings! – and we’ve never studied it in depth. Should be a fun year!
Here is the curriculum we are using:
Bible and Christian Education
The Little Pilgrim’s Progress
Daily morning devotionals
Bible readings using Penny Gardner’s Bible “episodes” (see bookmark I made here)
Weekly Psalm copywork
Weekly reading of missionary/ Christian hero stories from Glimpses for Kids
World History
Story of the World, Vol 2 and Vol 2 Activity Guide – I am supplementing AO with this because of the hands-on stuff and what I feel is a more well-rounded, less obsessively unicultural than AO’s selections
An Island Story
Discovery of New Worlds
American History
This Country of Ours
Leif the Lucky
Mathematics
Developmental Math – Levels 8 and 9 - four times per week
The I Hate Mathematics! book and math games like Timez Attack once a week
Grid Perplexors Book 3 – once per week
Natural Science
Exploring Creation with Astronomy, with corresponding notebook and lapbook
Handbook of Nature Study with the Outdoor Hour Challenge
Burgess Bird Book for Children and Burgess Book of Animals
Biography
Joan of Arc
The Little Duke
Language Arts
copywork 1-2 times per week
dictation once per week
daily reading from the Y2 free reading list
daily oral narration of all readings
1-2 written narrations per week
Spelling City (science vocabulary games)
Simply Grammar – we will only get through half the book this year, one lesson per week
Grammarland
Literature
Understood Betsy
Wind in the Willows
Pagoo
Robin Hood
selections from the Y2 free reading list
daily poetry readings: Walter de la Mare, James Whitcombe-Riley, Eugene Field and Christina Rossetti
Geography
Trail Guide to US Geography – divided into 2 years, we are only getting through 35 states this year, with a 2-week project about Florida history
Geography through Art
Uncle Josh’s Outline Map
(Please note, Ambleside suggests a very different course of study: learning geography through Holling C. Holling books like Minn of the Mississippi and Seabird. My kid hates Holling C. Holling books for geography – he finds them way too abstract and the stories off putting and boring, so we’re going with a more map-centric concrete geography.)
Fine Arts
Rod and Staff Growing with Music
Recorder lessons using the Nine Note Recorder Method – weekly lesson + daily practice
Drawing with Children using the lesson plans here
Artpac 3 – one project every other week
Handicrafts – Home Depot Kids’ Workshop monthly
Weekly hymn study based on AO’s rotation, using Then Sings My Soul CD & book
Folk song study, once per month
Artist study: Raphael, John Singer-Sargent, Claude Monet
Composer study: Vaughan Williams, Elgar, Sibelius, Ravel, Grieg
Foreign Languages
Teach Them Spanish! Level 4
Getting Started with Latin
Physical Education
Daily one or more of the following: Wii Sports/ Wii Fit, 15 minutes of aerobics, mile-long walk, free play, scootering on the bike path at the park, introduction to weight lifting, warm-ups.
Electives/Other
4H Club
Church Youth group
Typing (one term only)
Health for the Glory of God (Rod and Staff – two terms)
Introduction to Filmmaking
Life Skills
Social skills exercises from Do2Learn
Selections from The Dangerous Book for Boys
I think that sums up our year pretty well! I am very excited that with workboxes, it really looks like we’ll be able to fit it all in this year. Even the “extras” like artist and composer studies and handicrafts – which aren’t really extras! I think it’s going to be a terrific year.
